1/18 This is the first of 18 songs I plan on mapping from Kaneda7's first standalone project. This collection of 18 songs were never originally released as a full album but were confirmed by the artist to be part of the same broader project. They also all share the same cover art of Laura Palmer from Twin Peaks. Kaneda's music is extremely special to me. While his art usually consists of extremely dark themes, hearing someone able to not only speak about their darkest thoughts, but also able to turn it to some of the most beautiful art I've experienced, is extremely comforting to me. Kaneda's music has helped me throughout the darkest most horrible times in my life, and now is no exception. I have decided I want to dedicate my time to allow you all to experience his music in a way that feels intentional, immersive, and true to the emotion behind his words. For each of these I want to write my thoughts on the song and tell you why I enjoy it. The chorus starts with lyrics I believe have a double meaning. "I ain't a model, god wish I had an icepick". Kaneda talking about his own struggles with body dysmorphia really resonates with me as a trans woman who experiences dysphoria daily. As for the double meaning I believe he is referencing Canadian killer Luca Rocco Magnotta. I personally find killers like Luca extremely fascinating and I have always loved learning about serial killers and their psychology. Learning about them helps me manage and understand my own irrational thoughts and feelings. Kaneda uses a lot of niche references like this that people within the scene will recognize. As for the rest of the chorus I choose to believe he is speaking about potential romantic partners. I have had partners cheat on me, use me, abuse me, rape me, and worse. Hearing those lines framed in such a detached, almost numb tone makes it hit even harder for me. It feels less like shock value and more like someone processing pain in the only way they know how. These would be the actions of an incredibly hurt individual. The struggle with his own self image layered with references that are this disturbing mirrors how intrusive and dark thoughts can feel when you’re already struggling internally. The way his production builds behind the chorus makes it feel almost cathartic, like a release of everything that he's kept bottled up. To me this song captures that contradiction of wanting to be seen and loved while also feeling fundamentally broken or unworthy. That push and pull is something I know too well, and it’s a big part of why this track deeply resonates with me. The bridge also includes lyrics from "I Think We’re Alone Now" by Tiffany. It is also sung in the same tune. "I Think We’re Alone Now" was one of my favorite songs growing up and throughout my early high school years. I essentially grew up on 80's pop. The inclusion of something so familiar and unique to my own childhood tastes and enjoyment is weirdly comforting. It lets me know that we aren't so different. There’s something really powerful about hearing a bright, nostalgic melody in the middle of a song that otherwise carries such heavy themes. It creates this contrast between innocence and experience, and between who you were and who you’ve become. It feels like a reminder that even as we grow, change, and survive the things that harden us, there are still pieces of our younger selves that remain. That familiarity makes the bridge feel intimate, almost like a shared secret between Kaneda and the listener. It softens the song without taking away its weight. It adds another layer that makes me feel a sense of vulnerability and humanity which makes the entire track feel more personal and sincere. I sincerely hope you all enjoy. I will be down mapping and ranking this, and as many of the songs in the collection as I possibly can. Reupload #1 - Added a lower difficulty for rank. Fixed some patterns in Expert+ Reupload #2 - Thank you to @Potassium__737 for the mod and queuing! Link to Kaneda7's First Unofficial Album: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5jt6bcaGi2hSwxLlKMyAER